Jack Nicholson – Still Flying Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Jack Nicholson has had quite the career; playing iconic roles in movies like The Shining, China Town, The Departed, A Few Good Men, Batman, and Easy Rider; and winning Academy Awards for his work in As Good As It Gets, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, and Terms Of Endearment. The man has been a major screen presence for almost fifty years, but strangely enough hasn’t changed much over that time. He may not have as much hair, or be as thin as he used to be, but Jack is still Jack. He still has those insanely expressive eyebrows, he still has that iconic voice, and he’s still a hit with the ladies. He doesn’t act as much as he used to, opting to spend his twilight years being picky with his roles, but he still lights up the screen and owns every character he plays. A good looking man in a less than traditional sense, we’d never seen anyone like Jack Nicholson before he came on the seen, and we may never see another one like him after he’s gone.

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Gary Busey Runs Hollywood or At Least He Should

For a proper Gary Busey “before and after” photo-set, we’d need the results of a CAT Scan from before and he after he completely lost his mind. Early in his career, Busey was known as the super-talented Academy Award nominated star of The Buddy Holly Story, but then drugs and the lasting effects of a motorcycle accident slowly turned him into a complete nutcase. Now, instead of delivering powerful performances, he just kind of yells crazy stuff at strangers and rants about power animals. While this is sometimes as endearing and awesome as it sounds, it can also be pretty annoying, and has caused him to be “the crazy one” on numerous reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice and Celebrity Rehab and Celebrity Wife Swap and…you see where this is going. Being “the crazy one” on a reality show is like being “the stupid one” on…well…a reality show. In his defense, it’s quite possible that we’re all crazy and he’s the normal one. After all, it’s always possible that we all have the souls of a thousand flaming eagles beating within our hearts (he probably said that at some point), and  the guy was in Point Break, so that makes him better than you.

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Liv Tyler – What’s Next?

Before any of us knew who Liv Tyler was, she was simply the gorgeous girl in the Aerosmith video. After we found out who she was, she was the gorgeous girl who kind of inappropiatly dances in her father’s music video, but she still really talented, so we’ll let things slide. Steven Tyler’s little girl has had quite the career, starring in big hits like Armageddon, and The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, and although it seems that she’s had a little plastic surgery to help her along, she’s always maintained an understated but stunning appearance. She’s faded from the spotlight a bit in the past few years, but still turns up to stop everyone’s heart in roles like The Incredible Hulk, Super, and The Ledge. Her attentions seem to be on her children more that the acting world these days, and there’s nothing wrong with that; we’re sure she’s a great mom, and she’s had a great career.

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Halle Berry In Mid Stride

Halle Berry is…to put it far too simply…impressive. She’s had a little help from plastic surgery along the way, but the Monster’s Ball star and Academy Award winner has remained one of the most stunning women in the world for the last twenty years without interuption. She was gorgeous before she was famous, and she’s remained gorgeous after taking a step back from the spotlight; she was amazing before having kids, and after having kids; she’s been very consistent with her…upkeep? However you want to phrase it, the Cloud Atlas star has maintained supermodel good looks well into her forties, and she shows no signs of slowing down; she actually keeps getting better with age. She seems to follow a strict regiment of exercise, diet, and skin care; while still finding time to be a good mother to her daughter. We’re sure that her huge bank account helps, but there’s plenty of rich women out their who have the same amount of time and money, and a whole lote less to show for it. Great job Halle!

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Kate Moss Then and Now

Since crashing the modeling scene like a super skinny freight train in the 1990s, Kate Moss really hasn’t changed much over the years; she started out really skinny and is still really skinny. She’s done drugs, partied, dated Johnny Depp, and made millions of dollars, but she’s always looked roughly the same. However, she has changed since the days before she was famous, so take a look at how cute little baby Moss was. Impressed? Okay, now look at how awkward young teenage Kate Moss was; makes you feel a little better about your awkward years, right? Well don’t feel too good, because right about the time she stopped eating hoagies and started living off lettuce, Kate Moss got really pretty; soon after that, she got really famous. Like we said before, after she left the spotlight, the famed model didn’t change much, so we’ll keep an eye on her and see if she ever starts aging rapidly or has any work done.

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Mila Kunis Still Young

When you here about all that Mila Kunis has done, and look at her extensive on-screen resume, you assume that she’s way older than she is. Now when you realize that Mila’s already been nominated for countless awards and starred in hits like Black Swan, The Book of Eli, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall before the age of thirty, you better be impressed. After getting her big break as a cast member on That 70s Show, Mila began pulling in all sorts of roles, and she’s kicked tail in every single one of them. As she expands her filmography with movies like Ted and Oz: The Great and Powerful, Kunis will only get more and more famous. She’ll also get more and more refined in her craft, and will probably someday find herself holding an Oscar in her hand. Keep an eye on Mila Kunis, because she’s only going up from here.

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Jessica Alba Still Up and Coming

There’s not much of a “before and after” for Into The Blue‘s Jessica Albs, unless you count “gorgeous” and “slightly older and more gorgeous” as two different phases of life. However, Alba has gotten older; the Dark Angel siren has gotten married, had kids, and seen herself in roles that suit her “advanced age”. These days, she’s no longer getting the role of “hot girl at the high school party that everyone fawns over”, she now finds herself playing “hot single mom” and “hot young professional woman”. Unfortunately, when it’s all said and done, she probably won’t have much of a career when she gets into her late thirties and forties. She talented, but not talented enough to really maintain a presence in Hollywood once her looks begin to fade.Who knows though, she’s done pretty well in everything she’s been given, so maybe she has some serious actress in her. We guess time will tell.

 

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Jonah Hill – Biggest Celebrity Weight Loser

Okay, let’s nutshell this for you: Jonah Hill was fat, now he’s thin. You can try to slice it with any level of political correctness you want, but that’s really what happened (although he seems like he may be putting the weight back on as we speak). The 21 Jump Street and Superbad star found success playing the “loveable fat guy” in most of his early roles, but seems to have chosen his health over his acting image. We’re not sure if he’s going to have the same effect on the audience now that he just looks like a skinny hipster, but we’re fans of his, so we’re hoping that his brand of simultaneously awkward and smart-mouthed comedy still works now that he shops at Baby Gap. If not, he’s always just a month-long trip to Golden Corral away from his old self. If you don’t know, Golden Corral is an all-you-can-eat buffet. It’s not that great, but they don’t kick you out after an hour, they have hush-puppies, and you only get sick one out of every five times you eat there; so yeah, it’s basically our favorite western-named but not themed eatery.

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John Goodman – Another Celebrity Downsize

Remember that last season of Roseanne? The one where she won the lotto and did all sorts of ridiculous crap like dress like Steven Seagal and save a train; the one where in the end she said it was all a book she was writing and Dan was really dead? Well, it was stupid, but not because it tarnished our memory of Roseanne, but because it inferred that John Goodman could be killed.Yeah, that’s right, we think the the Artist, Big Lebowski, and Community star is a magic being of awesomeness who can’t die. You want proof that he can’t die, just look at his weight, which has gone down significantly over the years. Why did he lose the weight? Because he wanted to! Before the weight loss, he was a big fat fatty, but after he dropped the pounds, he started to look a lot more like someone’s cool uncle. John Goodman has really lost weight over the years, and we’re impressed.

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Vladimir Putin – Always Shifty-Eyed

Ah Vladimir Putin, the man who launched a million “In Soviet Russia…” jokes; the Russian Prime Minister whose constant need for attention has yielded us some of the greatest moments in wierd history. Putin has done everything from feed baby cows to get photographed shirtless and holding a machine-gun while on horseback; all of this was after being elected to office by the way. Before his time in the big seat, Putin was still probably pretty wierd, and basically always had the exact same face he has right now (the only difference comes from a little bit of plastic surgery that he had a couple of years ago); a face that while not ugly, is still somehow really depressing. He just looks mopey; even when he’s happy, he looks like he’s about to burst into tears. We doubt that he’s ever really depressed though because…well…think about it; would you ever be upsetif you we the gun-toting, baby cow loving, no-shirt-needing leader of a country so crazy its got its own meme?

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